U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize