White coat. Heels.
In the future we'll all be gay
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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