I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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