he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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