If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
