Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
