We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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