I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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