He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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