So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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