the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
