By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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