who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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