If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
