Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
