I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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