We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
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I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
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So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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