I think my fart just growled at me.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
