do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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