Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I just blew my weed a kiss
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Randomize
