My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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