It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
