yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
