I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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