omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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