I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
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I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
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It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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