Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
