I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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