I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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