So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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