No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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