come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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