Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I stole a fireplace last night.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
