that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
