We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
