I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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