I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
