I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
