I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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