She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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