____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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