all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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