Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
