Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize