Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
