I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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