How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
