that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
not ubering you a puppy
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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