How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
