i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
