Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I need water and some morals
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
