Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
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so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
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I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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