So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
