One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
