the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
